Ruthless

I didn’t used to think of being ruthless as positive or Godly. Yet it’s part of a challenge God has given me. Its first appearance in my life came several years ago as I read “Soul Keeping” by John Ortberg. In the book, Ortberg kept mentioning his friend and theologian, Dallas Willard, one of the most influential people in his life. At one point, Ortberg explained that when he entered into a very busy season of ministry, he called Dallas Willard for advice on staying spiritually healthy. After a long pause, Willard replied, “John, you must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life. There is nothing else. Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.” That was one of the many odd Dallas Willard quotes I read – and it led me to buy a couple of Willard’s book — and now Dallas is highly influential in my life, too.

Even though anything and everything Dallas says is worth noting, I thought that eliminating hurry sounded nice, but not for me. When my girls were teens, I would impatiently say things like, “Patience is the worst virtue.” (Call me Mother of the Year.) This apparently prompted God to bring a long succession of things into my life requiring … what else but patience? And sure enough, I learned to apply it and now I value it highly.

But hurry? Surely eliminating hurry wasn’t for me. I was a multi-tasking, hard-working, high-speed gal. Work too busy and stressful with extra hours? Then answer client emails and make a grocery list all while on a Zoom call with no time to change from my PJ’s until the afternoon. (I should clarify here that I work from home.) Food? An afterthought. Health? I’d be fine. People? Might have to wait a bit. Weekend? Time for a project.

So time passed and I forgot about ruthlessly eliminating hurry. My life jogged right along through lots of season changes … and as it did, God was whispering to me about hurry and teaching me things.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” – Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

Basically an invitation from God Himself:

Come, get away with Me and learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

I began to learn it. I had to slow down for a major life crisis and sit with God while it slowly unfolded. I had to slow down some for Covid and I joined an online painting club and we painted bright watercolors around Bible verses, not caring about perfection – and it brought me a lot of joy. I had to slow down some for my parents and I learned to match my step to theirs and to breathe in the precious time with them. Slowing down was required if I wanted to fill my yard with bright flowers and watch them grow, or to write and plant words in the dark and leave them like a seed. It takes time to be devoted to God and to cultivate love … all the best things. And I had to slow down some because of arthritis in my knees and …. well honestly, I didn’t slow down for that too much. More on that below.

A few years back, I saw that a new book was out called, “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” by John Mark Comer. Huh? How could someone else come up with that same exact phrase? And it turns out that Comer wrote the book based on Dallas Willard’s advice to John Ortberg. So it took me awhile to start reading it, but Santa gave it to me for Christmas last year. (Ok, yes, I buy things to give myself and call it Santa.) And I read the first few chapters. Hmmmm … God definitely wants to teach me things through this book, I thought. And then life got busy and I put it away without finishing it. Ironic, isn’t it? The book got ousted by hurry.

But the knees persisted with trouble until, a couple of weeks ago, an MRI revealed that I have been walking on a fracture and a torn meniscus (and lots of other things) for the past several months. And that feeling I’ve had that I shouldn’t be walking 2 miles a day on my treadmill and pushing past pain walking 15,000 steps across campus for the OSU spring game, etc. etc. –- that feeling I chose to ignore — was actually right. I shouldn’t be walking. Probably not at all. (Talk about a fitting metaphor for listening to messages about eliminating hurry!) And in lieu of a cast, the doctor gave me strict instructions to use a cane and to stay off my knee and not to walk on the treadmill or mow the lawn and he even said not to MULCH. (But it’s spring! and I love working in my yard! – and how did he know? How did he know that’s exactly what I was going to do — go home and mulch! If only he hadn’t said that!) UGH. I’m so slow right now. And worse – this cessation of activity will, at best, only bring a very temporary respite that precedes surgery, so no quick fixes here. If the fracture heals, it will likely break again thanks to the ridiculous stuff that’s happening inside my knees. It’s discouraging and unsettling.  

But one thing I’ve learned in these past years of challenges – God has something to teach me in tough times. And that SOMETHING learned is going to matter more and be way more valuable and important to me later, looking back, than the problem ever was.

So here I am, reading “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” again. God just keeps telling me that’s part of what I need to learn. That there are way, way too many good things on the other side of this lesson.

Truthfully? I really don’t want to hurry. I want to sit at God’s feet in our personal circle and listen and talk to Him. I want to paint more watercolor verses. I want to tend my flowers (carefully), deepen friendships, love on the people in my life, write sweet notes like my Mom did, sing hymn lyrics to the dogs, and ponder how to be more like Jesus.

I also want to mulch. But that’s not on the list anymore.

I’ve learned that when I’m truly ready to listen and learn, God never fails to teach me. So I’ve been journal-jotting and I’m hoping to do kind of a series of posts on this ruthless elimination thing – little sprigs off the hurry branch that He teaches me as we go. He seems to be telling me I need to make time to write again. So maybe stay tuned. I don’t know how you feel about hurrying or eliminating it or being ruthless about it. But please stay tuned and we’ll learn some things together.

Absolute best part? God walks with me – He will never leave me behind or abandon me. When I walk slow, He walks slow. When I have to sit, we sit together. He isn’t in any rush. We have an eternity.  

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” – Henry David Thoreau